Lana Del Rey only played 28 dates in 2023.
In 2022 she played zero.
Since 2013, she has performed more than 40 shows in a year just twice (2014, 2018).
On Wednesday the singer shot a short message on her Instagram where she told her 9.7 million followers that her experience touring this year was "the best five months of my entire life."
While she seems sincere and she's never publicly complained about sharing her beautiful music with her more-than-adoring fans, what should we make of the cold hard facts: she doesn't tour much, and she hasn't played many shows for years.
Why?
Does she secretly have stage fright? Is she saving her voice? Does she really just like chilling at home, smoking, listening to the waves of the Pacific Ocean and drinking Diet Mountain Dew?
For as short as her most recent, unnamed tour was, she had lots of highlights.
In Italy the fans encouraged her to step out of her comfort zone and perform "Salvatore" for the first time since April 13, 2018.
As touching and beautiful and a prime example of how devoted her fans are, many of whom know all the words and don't even need musical cues to sing along, it would be the only time the track from Honeymoon was performed this year.
In Nashville she hopped on stage and sang the Tammy Wynette hit "Stand By Your Man" at Robert's Western World Bar.
With the accompaniment of Robert's regulars, Timbo, Lana delivered the classic line, "sometimes it's hard to be a woman..." to hoots of those lucky few at the bar.
Lana is no stranger to the tune, she's covered it at least 16 times, including several times during the US leg of her tour this year.
In Alabama, after spending several hours at a Waffle House, the manager asked if she and her crew wanted some free shirts. "Hell yeah!" she replied.
When it turned out the shirts were not souvenir t-shirts, but official employee work shirts, the singer put it on as a homemade name tag was created for her. Naturally photos were taken and video of her pouring coffee quickly hit Facebook and spread like wildfire.
The next day Lana saw the photos and 10 second video had gone viral.
“I wish my album had gone as viral," she said of her latest effort Did You Know That There's a Tunnel Under Ocean Blvd. "I woke up to, like, 10,000 texts the next morning: ‘Saw your picture at the Waffle House!’ I was like, ‘Did you hear the new album?’”
Everywhere she went this year, Europe, South America, or the US South, she was well-received and it seemed like she loved everyone right back.
She even has been spotted taking hits off fans' vapes.
So here's what I recommend: a residency. But not in Vegas. In Hollywood. The place she sings about and loves.
But it shouldn't be at any old spot. It should be somewhere she can sell out easily and often that's glamorous, has a rich history, and is attached to a mall.
One where they could probably build a Waffle House pop-up if need be.
Outside of the Oscars, which is held next year in March, the sad little secret about the glamorous Dolby Theatre is it's often dark. Occasionally you'll see American Idol use it, but it isn't used as much as you'd think.
For example this year has 80 days left. Of those, only 15 dates are booked at the Dolby, a beautiful theater in the heart of Hollywood, on Hollywood Blvd, close to public transportation, with lots of parking, and near restaurants and hotels.
There's only two dates booked at the Dolby in December, why not a dozen shows in a row be for Lana, including New Years Eve?
Could she sell out that many dates at the 3,300 venue?
Find out. Put a few shows on sale and see.
Including her two appearances at Coachella in 2014, since those beautiful performances, she has only played Los Angeles a dozen times, and a few of those nights were at a cemetery and one was at a record store. So proper Lana-headlining gigs in her adopted city is less than 10 in 9 years.
This could and should change. Give her the Dolby. Let her sleep in her own bed at night.
And if you really want to make things fun, your girl has nine studio albums. All bangers. ALL.
Do a two-week run where every night is a different album front-to-back for the first set and covers and special guests in the second set. It's not rocket science.
Build it and they will come.
To find out if Lana takes my advice, bookmark her Tour Date page and click the link every day. Or keep coming back here. We'll let you know as soon as she announces news.
